Karaoke Nights
by K0ubh
Summary: Our steadfast, favorite shinobi of Konoha and some of Sand get drunk off their rockers, (or at least lose their common sense) at a new bar in town. Then, they begin to sing. Yes, the dreaded karaoke comes into play.
1. Gaara's Holly Jolly Christmas

Disclaimer: I own Kiana, Sam owns Tetra, Alicia owns Kira. The creator of Naruto characters owns them, not me. The songs don't belong to me, either. Don't rope me into a court date because I own all of nothing, unfortunately.  
  
Spoilers: I dunno... random story. Set when Naruto is about 25.  
  
Warnings: Unfortunately, I can't write Gaara very well, but it seemed so funny to write this... And, my warning is that there may be OCCness, since he's drunk and no one knows what he'd do while drunk. This is just my interpretation.  
  
A/N: Gaara has a seal over Shukaku. Don't ask why or how. Since I'm writing, whatever I say shall be... But, he's still an insomniac, though he can get sleep now without Shukaku's evilness trying to eat his non-existent personality away. ( Note- I do love Gaara, but I'm just harsh because my friend who likes him is sitting here watching me type and making comments like 'hey, that's not nice!' ::snicker::  
  
-----  
  
Chapter 1: Gaara's Holly Jolly Christmas  
  
"Hey, Gaara," the brunette Kaze Tetra said, sitting another glass of sake as well as herself down next to her friend. Gaara and Tetra had very little in common, but she stuck up for him when a few older students began making fun of him, and the two fell into an odd relationship of being friends. "Gaara-kun, will, you go up there and sing for me?"  
  
"Tetra, Ii'd have too bee twicce azzz drunk azz I amm noww to do thaaahgt," Gaara slurred his words, guzzling down his glass of liquor. "Oerr... nott."  
  
Tetra sighed dramatically, making a big show to get the seven-hundred yen Raimizu Kiana, Tetra's friend, had promised her if she would make Gaara go up on stage and sing, even if it was 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star'. The brunette girl looked longingly at the stage. "Onegai, Gaara, go up and sing! I'm so bored of hearing everyone else sing, so please go up there and sing. I'll pay you ten yen..."  
  
"Nooo."  
  
"Fifteen yen, and a hug!" Tetra revamped her offer with a bright smile. Standing, Tetra quickly walked to the bar and got Gaara a few glasses of water to help him settle down a bit and sober up. Gaara accepted the water eagerly and chugged one glass down in a single go, making Tetra give him a 'holy-crap-how-the-hell-did-you-do-that?' look.  
  
"NOOO," Gaara replied, gulping down yet another glass.  
  
"Twenty yen, a hug, and a huge carton of double fudge brownie ice cream, and that's my last offer," Tetra told her psychopathic friend, knowing that if this didn't get him, nothing would. Gaara was very partial to that particular ice cream flavor, and could be won over in almost anything if double fudge brownie ice cream was offered. "Onegai, Gaara-kun?"  
  
"Hai, I promise I will," Gaara said semi-soberly. He took one more long gulp from the glass and set it down. Taking a deep breath, Gaara walked up to the person in charge of the karaoke, who happened to be none other then... bum bum Bum!  
  
Akimichi Chouji, who was two-handing the free bar peanuts and guzzling down a mango margarita at his station near the stage, then pausing to moan about getting a brainfreeze. Gaara in his inebriated state did not notice that Chouji was eating, and tapped the gobbling man on the shoulder, unaware of how Chouji would get if interrupted when eating. Chouji, unknowing of who tapped him on the shoulder, nearly bit Gaara if not for the slowish-sand, and thus Chouji got his first taste of Gaara's sand. He wasn't a happy Akimichi.  
  
"Gaara," Chouji said, surprised. Then, huffing because now he realized he couldn't two-hand the peanuts anymore, Chouji huffed. "Gaara, what can I help you with?"  
  
"I'd like to sing some karaoke, onegai," Gaara said, trying not to blush from embarrassment. He was beginning to very slowly come out of his totally plastered position. "Um, a specific song, if I may request it."  
  
"Sure," Chouji said around the peanuts. He obviously had talent with doing this, since Chouji could be heard pretty well through the food in his mouth. "What song would you like to sing, Gaara?"  
  
-----  
  
Raimizu Kiana was sitting at the bar nursing her cup of Bailey's when she heard the music to one of her favorite songs, 'Holly Jolly Christmas', you know: the song at the end of 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'? Well, the black-haired woman heard the song come on for karaoke and turned around to see who was singing while taking a sip of her drink.  
  
Distinguishing who was on stage, Kiana then sprayed the recently sipped drink out all over a person walking by, who happened to be Hatake Kakashi. Unfortunately for Kiana, she had accidentally sprayed the coffee-flavored liquor onto Kakashi's treasured book, 'Icha Icha Paradise, volume 4'.  
  
"Nuuuuuu!! My poor baby!" Kakashi shrieked, clutching his favorite book to his chest. Kiana just leaned to her left to gape at Gaara, who was dancing merrily to the opening part of the song. Kiana, who messed up on most things, easily pointed a finger at the person to her right and blamed Kakashi's smeared book on them. Unfortunately again for Kiana, it was Rock Lee who was drinking a blue-colored concoction when the droplets on the pages were cream-brown. "It was him, I swear."  
  
But, Gaara was smiling uncharacteristically in his drunken state of mind, and swaying happily on the stage, singing the unbelievably catchy tune meant for a holiday that would take place in six months from then. Kiana sat there on her stool, bright green eyes wide, before bursting out laughing and falling off said stool. Oh, she was definitely paying Tetra for this one.  
  
-----  
  
Gaara was having the time of his life. Never before had he heard a catchier tune, so happy and so not appropriate for the time they were in. "Have a holly jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year! I don't know if there'll be snow..."  
  
Gaara smiled wider and winked at Tetra. "But have a cup of cheer. Have a holly jolly Christmas, and when you walk down the street; say hello to friends you know and everyone you meet."  
  
Scanning the Konoha bar he was in, Gaara saw Kiana laughing her ass off on the floor, tears coming out of her eyes, and he didn't think anything of it besides that maybe she had a bit much to drink, unlike himself, and had been told a funny joke. "Oh, ho, the mistletoe, hung where you can see! Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me!" Gaara even made the little kissy-noises, like it said on the screen, towards Tetra, who was trying not to laugh and blushing madly.  
  
"Have a holly jolly Christmas, and incase you didn't hear, oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas this year!" Gaara sang, surprisingly not monotone, but in tone, with some how genuine merriness. He started to sway again to the music, since there was a pause in the lyrics. He scanned the popular bar and spotted several people smiling, while Kiana had pissed her pants and was clutching a hand to her chest, was red-faced, and still laughing. People were looking at her oddly, and Gaara wondered why since all he could do was smile. "Holly, jolly, holly, jolly, Oooohh!! Have a holly jolly Christmas, and incase you didn't hear: Oh by golly, have a holly jolly Chri- istmas-ss, this yeeeear!"  
  
Gaara did a semi-jig off the stage to the music and tripped on the stairs, nearly falling if not for Tetra catching him.  
  
"Okay, who are you, and what have you done with Gaara?" Tetra asked, shaking Gaara's shoulders slightly before smiling and hugging him. "That was awesome, Gaara! There's your hug, and when I take you home, I'll stop by the grocery store and pick you up that huge tub of ice cream I promised you."  
  
"Okay!" Gaara agreed cheerfully, smiling at the pleasant buzz that getting drunk would do to you. Following Tetra out of the bar, Gaara saw Kiana still in tears on the floor. "Hi, Kiana!" Gaara greeted as the neared her. "Bye Kiana!"  
  
True to her word, the brunette woman stopped by the grocery store and came out with a few bottles of water and a giant tub of double fudge brownie that would make any ice cream lover drool. Speeding back to the apartment complex that the two lived in (though in separate apartments at opposite ends of the building), Tetra practically dragged Gaara up to their floor since he wouldn't move on his own because he would stop to ask maids, janitors, and clerks for hugs. Settling her friend down in bed, Tetra handed him the few bottles of Deer Park, a spoon, and his tub of ice cream.  
  
"Now remember for the morning, Gaara," Tetra said seriously, backing away, "that you promised that you'd sing, I did nothing to make you sing, and that I love you. So, when you wake up in the morning, don't come and kill me."(NOTE: In the beginning, I stated that Gaara was an insomniac, but he is allowed to sleep 'cause someone put a seal on Shukaku. So there.)  
  
Gaara nodded dumbly and smiled still, starting to munch on his ice cream while flipping the TV to Nick at Night. "Night Tetra!" Gaara said as his brunette friend departed, closing the door behind her. ----- Gaara awoke with a large twinge in his temples. It aggravated him to no end, and the sun on his eyelids made his eyes sting- wait. Why was there sun on him, period? Gaara usually kept his curtains closed to keep that pale look on him, but he was feeling the warmth of sunlight. Opening his eyes slowly, he groggily distinguished his surroundings and screamed, setting off a car alarm and making Tetra, who had come to check up on him, bolt to her own apartment and lock every single window and door to outside. He had seen what he had done to his room. Tetra was so going to pay for this.  
  
-----  
  
A/N: And that is the end of the chapter. My friend Sam and I had a very good laugh over this. Especially when I put in the part about Gaara dancing 'merrily', Kiana pissing herself and Gaara still wanting a hug from her, and Kiana spraying Kakashi's book with Bailey's. Review and read more! Coming up, Kiba and Akamaru bust a move to 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' and Kira is introduced. And, Tetra sings a special song while drunk to a special Sandman... ::snickers more:: You'll get it when you read it. You may even see Gaara's room! ...Silly Gaara. 


	2. Coconuts Make Everyone Loosen Up

Disclaimer: I own Kiana, Sam owns Tetra, Alicia own Kira, and Robin owns Kiki. I don't own the NARUTO characters, the songs, or... Anything else, unfortunately.  
  
Notes: Gaara can sleep because a seal was placed over Shukaku by the request of my friend. OCCness is a problem since the characters are drunk, and no one knows what happens when people get drunk. This time, I'm messing with... HAHAHA!! Read and find out!  
  
-----  
  
Chapter 2: Coconuts Make Everyone Loosen Up!  
  
Gaara was angry as hell, with his room being the way it had been when he woke up with an intense headache after his night of drinking. The room, which had been redecorated during the night, scared, scarred, surprised, and disturbed Gaara so much that he refused to live in his apartment until it was painted black again, and thus the redhead moved back temporarily with his fan-wielding sister, Temari, and his face-paint-loving brother, Kankuro.  
  
Under the control of the sake-clouded mind, Gaara had managed to paint his bedroom of his apartment bright, happy colors like yellow and bright green, and baby blues and rosy pinks... Gaara shuddered at the happy state he was in. It disgusted him that he could be so careless when drunk, and Gaara swore to himself he would never drink EVER again. (Ignore the entire paint fumes thing. Who cares if he got high, too? That would help clouding his brain...)  
  
The walls were covered in happy faces and happy suns, with a white bunny chasing some fruit, silly rabbit, and even smiling trees. It was the most scarring thing Gaara had dealt with in a while, and ruined the whole purpose of getting drunk. He only just forced himself to not kill his brunette friend for getting him drunk enough to do that. And, to add onto everything she had done, Gaara had sang 'Holly Jolly Christmas' in front of many people he knew in Konoha at the popular bar they had been at the previous night.  
  
The only reason he was in Konoha was due to the peace treaty between Konoha and Sand. Their alliance with Orochimaru made Konoha shaky on grounds with Sand. The treaty had the three siblings of the most powerful Kazekage (let's just pretend if this isn't true) staying in Konoha to assure allegiance with Sand. The high officials agreed to the condition, and Konoha and Sand were at peace, and had been for a while, since Gaara turned twenty-one.  
  
Temari and Kankuro lived together, since neither could get a long-lasting boyfriend or a girlfriend (hehehe, yes; Kankuro couldn't get a steady boyfriend or girlfriend, and the same goes for Temari) yet, though both were in relationships at the time. Gaara had moved out two years before and got his current apartment and had it painted nice colors like crimson and black, and dark rose. He really had good taste in colors and coordinating things together, surprisingly. However, he had gotten a spurt of scary happiness and colored his pale-colored room bright merry colors that scarred Gaara as he woke that morning. Thus, he was getting his bedroom painted black to prevent the same thing from ever happening again.  
  
And the bed sheets he had bought...  
  
Gaara didn't want to relive that thought. Dialing the number he knew so well, Gaara heard the phone pick up, and Temari's voice greet, "Hello. Who is this and how can I help you?"  
  
"Temari," Gaara said in an irritated voice, "I need a favor from you."  
  
-----  
  
Raimizu Kiana skipped happily up the steps to her best friend's apartment. The night before left her without a hangover, thankfully, and she remembered Gaara's lovely song too well. 'But,' Kiana thought forlornly, 'I didn't bring a camera to remind everyone how great that time was.'  
  
Knocking on the door of apartment 12C, Kiana smiled at the person who opened the door. "Shikamaru! How are you, buddy? Say, do you want to go to the Feisty Goat with me? I'm meeting Kira and Kiba there, and I'll pay for your drinks. Onegai, Shikamaru-kun?"  
  
"Fine," sighed Shikamaru, "Just because it'd be too bothersome to deal with saying otherwise. Let me get my chuunin jacket.  
  
-----  
  
Entering the bar, Kiana noticed her distant cousin and one of her best friends sitting at a table near the dance floor, Kira restraining from jumping in Kiba's lap and Kiba trying not to pull her over and do stuff Kiana didn't want to think about. The redheaded Izume Kira was looking longingly from the dance floor and then switched her glance to Kiba, then the dance floor again. Kiba was too busy staring at Kira's chest and panting to notice this.  
  
Kiana made a face, half shock and half of it was pure disgust. Shikamaru dragged her by the elbow over to the table and sat her down in a chair before sitting himself in his own. Tearing her eyes away from the nasty sight of her cousin and friend mentally undressing each other, Kiana cleared her throat.  
  
"Does anyone want a drink?" Kiana asked the table, knowing that Shikamaru would be too much of a bum to help her. Lazy ass. Oh, she was getting him drunk off his rocker tonight, and luckily(for once) Kiana had stashed the camcorder in her book bag. (think one-shouldered book bags.)  
  
Shikamaru asked for a bottle of absinth(oh, this WILL be fun), and Kira and Kiba asked for martinis with extra-alcohol. Seeing as she needed to man the camcorder to catch any drunken action, Kiana settled on a virgin strawberry daiquiri. Giving Shikamaru a tall glass, the lazy-ass pushed the glass away and chugged down nearly half the bottle in one go.  
  
"Geez, Shikamaru, I hope you can hold your liquor and you can repay me for buying you two bottles of absinth at almost twenty dollars each," Kiana said in an incredulous voice, setting another bottle of Absinth down on the table for her friend.  
  
"Oh, I will, Kiana-chan," replied Shikamaru with a smirk, knowing that Kiana hated to be called 'chan', because she was not short at all, but taller than many of Konoha's men. "Or you'll be able to freely make me do anything, because I'm not of any use at all if I'm completely wasted."  
  
"That is VERY interesting information, Shikamaru," Kiana said evilly, turning the camcorder on. A couple of minutes later, Kiana glanced at her precious camcorder. Looking at the beeping red light, Kiana got mad instantly. "DAMN IT! THE BATTERY IS FREAKING DEAD!!"  
  
"Haha!" A semi-drunk Shikamaru laughed, starting his second bottle of absinth. "Kiana, me and Alf think this absinth is bullshit. Right Alf?" Shikamaru looked up aand to his left, where there was nothing but air. "Alf agrees, even if he's a green fairy. So, go get us some real absinth, please!"  
  
Kiana glared at her best friend, making sure to have his death go by slowly, including some knives and fire. She was a bit sadistic, and perverted, though not many people would guess that unless they REALLY knew her. (think this- the character was based off of me, and I get compared to Kakashi a lot and many similarities come up.)  
  
"Hey Chouji," Kiana said to her other friend. He was once again two handing free bar stuff, but this time it was pretzels.  
  
"Hiiieergh," Chouji greeted, or tried to greet, but regrettably he began choking on a bit of pretzel that went down the wrong way, though he got it out the right way by pounding hard on his chest and stomach. Swallowing his food, followed by a long gulp over his water, Chouji smiled at his friend. "Hi Kiana. What can I do for you?"  
  
"I just wanted to know who was planning on singing tonight," Kiana stated, knowing Chouji would do nearly anything to get his job of the karaoke manager off his shoulders so he could eat more. "I could take over for you, if you want. All you need to do is give Shikamaru some alcohol to lossen him up. I'll take care of the karaoke."  
  
If all went according to plan, Temari would get Kankuro drunk and everyone would get a good laugh from him singing. Too bad she forgot the camcorder had run out of batteries the week before at Tetra's pool party. Kiana had the one white eye to prove that she was taping the party the entire time, even the part where TenTen started making out with Neji on the snacks table, effectively causing Hinata to lose her stomach's contents in a bush nearby.  
  
Poor Hinata, the shock factor of her cousin making out with someone made her sick. Though, they all found out she had the stomach flu for a week or so already, and her partial girlfriend, Temari, had comforted and taken care of Hinata during that time frame, and Hinata was better now. It had taken Temari and Hinata's relationship up a notch, going from almost purely physical attraction to serious caring for each other.  
  
'Hopefully,' Kiana wished, taking a big gulp from the third bottle of absinth she bought for Shikamaru, 'Temari brought her camera.'  
  
-----  
  
"Temari, I don't want any more alcohol!" Kankuro growled at his sister, grabbing at his boyfriend. "I'm plastered enough!" At this, a totally drunk Kankuro began to giggle as Shino smiled playfully at him. Shino and Kankuro's relationship was everything including awkward, but the attraction(who knows why or how) was there, and the two explored on it. "You know what? I feel like singing! Lalalala!" Kankuro sang, trying to imitate a bird or other singing thing. Shino laughed outright, being a bit tipsy himself.  
  
Temari smirked, taking a swig from her bottle of whiskey. Hinata was sitting next to her, staring thoughtfully at the dance floor. "Go on and sing, Kankuro. Shino will no doubt go up there and help you, if he cares."  
  
A low blow on the two's relationship, but it definitely worked. Temari produced a camera from her own bag, and chuckled devilishly. "Kiana, I so owe you for this plan."  
  
-----  
  
Kankuro swayed as he walked over to his sister's friend, Raimizu Kiana. The black-haired woman now harbored an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. That was the best thing about this bar; you could buy entire bottles of liquor, and there would always be more. Shino followed his boyfriend up to his new friend, Kiana, and chuckling for no apparent reason.  
  
"Whoa, there partner," Kiana warned with a frown creasing her eyebrows. "Don't slip and fall, please. We'd hate to get blood all over these new carpets, because you know how hard it is to get out!"  
  
"Yeah, I do, living with Gaara all those years," Kankuro stated with a little giggle. "Anyway, we want to sing. And we want to sing now."  
  
"Gotcha," replied Kiana striking a Lee or Gai pose causing Kankuro to burst out in giggles. "What do you want to sing?"  
  
-----  
  
The speakers came on, and Kaze Tetra accompanied by Gaara entered the bar, eyes going directly to the stage, mouths dropping wide open(would have hit the floor, but the impossibility of this has come into play). The music began to play and Tetra laughed her way over to the booth that Shikamaru, Chouji, Kira, and Kiba occupied with a perfect view of the stage, while Gaara blushed and tried to hide his face. He would have been unnoticeable if not for that damned gourd he insisted on taking everywhere with him.  
  
-----  
  
"Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime. His sister had another one, she paid it for a lime. She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up; She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up; She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up," Kankuro sang pretty well, doing a little dance on the stage, added with his drunken swaying. "She put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up, and said-"  
  
"Doctor! Ain't there nothing I can take?" Shino sang, remarkably on tune, jumping from the shadows and making Hinata and Kiba blush since they were good and obvious friends with him. Already, Tetra was no good, laughing herself silly while poking Kiba in the arm and teasing him about being friends with such a drunk person.  
  
In response, Kiba retaliated with, "You're good friends with him, too, Tetra, so you're screwed, AND you're dating the other guy's brother!"  
  
"I AM NOT DATING HIM!" Tetra fumed, slapping Kiba upside the head.  
  
Kiba and Kira just sniggered at her reaction.  
  
"I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache? I say, Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?" Shino continued to sing, and over near the bar Kiana laughed into her bottle of Jack.  
  
"Now let me get this straight," Kankuro crooned in a deeper voice. "Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up. Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up. Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up. Put the lime in the coconut, you called your doctor, woke him up, and say, 'Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take, I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache? I say, Doctor, doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say, Doctor, dooooctor, to relieve this belly ache?'"  
  
Shikamaru, doing what Alf had told him to do, started a conga line on the dance floor, which was big enough to have one. At seeing Kankuro and Shino singing coconut and Shikamaru the lazy ass being the head of the conga line, Tetra started laughing even harder, then suddenly sobered up. "Oh shit."  
  
"What is it, Tetra?" Gaara asked seriously. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Um, I hafta go to the bathroom, really bad," Tetra replied, clapping a hand over her mouth. She had had a few drinks, but did not know that they would interfere this badly with her PMS medicine. Trying not to chunk it, Tetra rushed off to the bathroom and proceeded to regurgitate the food she had consumed since lunch. "Eww..."  
  
-----  
  
(I'm skipping to the endish of the song since the song is too freaking long.)  
  
"I say doctor!, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say doctor!, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say doctor!, ain't there nothin' I can take, I say Doctor!, you such a silly woman!" Shino sang, reading the words off the screen across the building. Thankfully, the words were big enough that he could read them in his tipsy state.  
  
Together, Shino and Kankuro sang the last part of the wonderful song everyone on the dance floor were busting a move to while in the conga line, with Shikamaru who now had come up with a lamp shade from somewhere and had placed it on his head. Kiana was laughing out her Jack Daniels and making a mess on the floor because of it. Trying to calm down, she focused her mind and rid herself of her laughter from one thought: Kisame naked.  
  
Yes, Kiana had seen Kisame before, unfortunately. When the Akatsuki had attacked Konoha with all their forces about three years after Orochimaru's main attack, Raimizu Kiana had had the pleasure of being assigned to be the distant, introverted, anti-social Sasuke's partner, and the two had been put up against seeing Itachi and Kisame. The shark-like man still gave her nightmares, even though he was dead and buried, along with most of the other members of Akatsuki and their forces.  
  
But, Kiana couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing as she saw Shino and Kankuro hug and sway to the very end of the song. Glancing across the room at her friend Temari, Kiana sighed in joy and bliss that the blonde fan-wielder was getting everything on tape. Blackmail was the best thing out there, and Kiana would force Temari to make copies if she died in the process.  
  
Shikamaru with a lampshade on his head leading the conga line and being of a non-lazy nature was too damn funny to not get a copy of. And, he still had to repay for the absinth. It seems Alf was not the person Shikamaru, the bum, wanted to listen to if he sought after keeping that reputation.  
  
-----  
  
At the end of the song, Kankuro felt a sudden burst of romance, dipped Shino on stage and fully kissed the bug-man on the mouth, with tongue and all. Shino responded eagerly, and if one watched Temari and Gaara, and not the action on the stage, the person would have seen Temari nearly gag and Gaara pull a Robin(1)--er... a bad face.  
  
-----  
  
A/N: BWAHAHA! Finally, it's done. I'll have Tetra revise it in the morning, or later, but this took up six pages of Microsoft Word at 12-font. A lot of ficcieness. Hope this was funny enough for people. Originally, I was going to have Tetra shit herself, but she protested (and threatened my life, twisted my ear, pulled my hair, etc) and I took it out. At least I didn't have to describe it, thank kami. I might have made Kiana a bit of a MarySue in this chapter, but people get that way with original characters, and that is why I was reluctant to put them in. Next chapter, Mr. Sandman... I decided to change the chapter instead of Kiba and Akamaru doing 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' since it was too long of a song and I got extremely lazy. So, I'll have that next chapter. Review, please. Encourage me. Flame me. Criticize me. Though, Torano like eating them, since she needs to warm up somehow...  
  
(1)- pulling a Robin is a term used between my friends because Robin (aka Kiki) get's this certain look on her face when shocked, disgusted, or both. Just think of Gaara with his mouth hanging open and his eyes and nose scrunched up in disgust, if you can picture it.  
  
BlackVine: I'm glad you didn't—er.. soil your seat. ::patpats your head:: at least you have cutouts, I have my wild imagination. Here's the next chapter, and I hope it makes you laugh. ::glomps you and gives you chibi- Naruto-shaped cookies:: Enjoy!  
  
B.T.K.A.L.: I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you've read the above, then you know that Shino, Shikamaru, and Kankuro now get wasted. Um.. yeah. If you're going to review again, I'd appreciate it if you'd watch your language, even though there is cussing in this. Thank you so much for the review though! ::gives you a HUGE huggle:: 


	3. Mr Sandman Can Blush?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto characters because Masashi Kishimoto has claimed them. I own Kiana, Sam owns Tetra, Alicia owns Kira, and Robin owns Kiki. And this plot has been done so many times(if there is a plot at all), so I don't think I own it.  
  
Warnings: OCCness due to drunkenness. OC's, though I hope they're not MarySues and I tried to not make them MarySue-ish. Stupid drunken fun.  
  
Notes: thanks to all who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Special thanks to Sam for letting me use her computer and for giving the fic to me when she only had about five minutes of battery left on her computer. For the 'Spatula of Doom', to those who may use it in their stories, my apologies for taking the idea. I really don't read that many humor fics, so I wouldn't know who uses it and who doesn't. Forgive me. ALSO! Whoever can tell me what movie the name of the bar(the bar is named the Feisty Goat) is from gets a special treat- they get a character appearance in the story! Bwaha! Clue- not an old movie at all. From 2003 at least.  
  
-----  
  
Chapter 3: Mr. Sandman Can Blush?  
  
"Gaara!" Raimizu Kiana screeched, slapping at the Third Eye. That... THING, that weird eye thing scared her as much as Gaara scared her. It wasn't that she hated him or thought he was evil, she just was scared at how quick to kill Gaara was. "Gaara, you get this THING out of here before I come out there and verbally berate you and taunt you and stuff!"  
  
From behind Kiana's door, Gaara and Tetra snickered evilly, and Gaara conceded and made the Third Eye dissipate. The two were waiting for Kiana to get out of her room so that they all could help move Gaara's not creepy furniture. Gaara was planning on burning all the sheets he had bought-and maybe even burning the mattress. He couldn't believe that he bought pink, lacy, frilly Barbie sheets with a matching comforter and pillowcases. "Get a move on Kiana, or I'll kill you."  
  
The two heard an audible 'EEP!' and some commotion inside the room before Kiana quickly opened the door. "I'm out. Don't kill me."  
  
"I'll leave you be," Gaara replied, trying not to laugh at Kiana's face, "for now."  
  
"Come on, we have to go help get Gaara's things into storage while his entire apartment is being painted black!" Tetra exclaimed, beginning to jump from roof to roof. "AND, we still have to get Shikamaru and Temari to help!"  
  
"Tetra, do you actually think that Shikamaru would do a goddamn thing to help?" asked Kiana with a chuckle. "He'd rather lay on the furniture we're moving than help out."  
  
Tetra nodded in understanding, knowing just how lazy Nara Shikamaru could be. The now-jounin wasn't any help in his personal life, but he was smart as hell on missions, which was practically the only reason Tsunade would put up with Shikamaru's lazy self. "Fine, then we might as well leave Shikamaru to watching clouds or whatever he does all day. Come on, we have to get Temari, since the painters are coming at four and it's already two thirty."  
  
"Well you shouldn't have come so late!" Kiana accused as the three stopped outside of Temari and Kankuro's house. "I would have been ready and stuff if you told me what time you two were coming over! What were you doing? Making out?"  
  
"NO!!" Tetra screeched, lunging for Kiana's neck. The subject of Tetra and Gaara's relationship was sensitive. Tetra had a little crush on Gaara, and beat anyone who suggested that there was anything more than friendship between the red-haired nin and the brunette. "You little-"  
  
"Kiana, you know you shouldn't comment on their relationship," a woman's voice said from Kiana's left. The two jerked their heads to look at the speaker, who was none other than Temari. "Tetra, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't murder someone on my doorstep."  
  
"Yes ma'am," Tetra replied as she immediately retreated her hands from Kiana's pale throat. The Kaze-woman shuddered at the thought of what Temari could do with a spatula. It had happened before and could happen again. "Please don't use the spatula again."  
  
"Let that be a lesson and warning for you to never do it again," Temari retorted, pointing a finger at her brother's friend. "Anyway, let me get my shoes and we can go. Shino and Kankuro are up to no good in Kankuro's room, and I would not like to stay around to see what happens."  
  
Temari returned seconds later with her shoes on firmly, and the four quickly jumped from roof to roof until they reached Gaara's apartment. Stepping inside, Kiana made her way to Gaara's bedroom, where she proceeded to laugh her brains out on the hot pink rug Gaara had bought under the influence of sake. "Oh... my... HOLY SHIT, GAARA! This is hilarious!"  
  
Gaara growled and a big sand hand came out of the gourd, aiming for Kiana, but Temari bumped her brother and held up a metal spatula in warning. "Don't think about it Gaara, or I'll use the Spatula of Doom on you..."  
  
Finally, after every piece of movable furniture was transferred to outside the apartment and ever other piece was covered with tarp(including the carpet), the less-energetic four began to slowly move the furniture into a truck. Sadly, when Kiana carried out a wooden dining table chair, she hit her head on the pull-down door, tripped backwards, then got knocked unconscious by smacking her head against the blacktop of the parking lot. Tetra cracked up, Temari rolled her eyes and loaded the chair Kiana had tried to, and Gaara called an ambulance on his cell phone with the ring tone(set by Tetra) of Holly, Jolly Christmas, which Gaara didn't know how to change for he was technologically retarded.  
  
"Hey, we're going to the Feisty Goat tonight," Temari announced. She had her camera bag with her, as did the now-conscious Kiana who was being looked at by a medic, for she wanted to catch anything humiliating like Kankuro and Shino singing, and Kiana's clumsy mistake of loading a chair into the truck. "I want to see who else will make a fool of themselves by singing karaoke."  
  
"I'd bring my camera," Kiana sighed, "but Kurenai got really hyper after getting drunk at the bar and started playing with my camera, then she dropped it. My poor camera!"  
  
"Gaara and I will meet up with you all at the Feisty Goat," Temari announced, pulling her younger brother by the sleeve away from the two other women. "I'll bring Kankuro and Hinata, too. Most likely Shino will be coming with Kankuro. I'll be seeing you!"  
  
"Bye, Temari!" the two women waved and jumped away.  
  
-----  
  
"Oh, this will be great!" Temari exclaimed, pulling her camera out. Kiana, Gaara, and herself had gotten Tetra drunk and know she volunteered to do karaoke. Kiana was giggling, since she herself was tipsy, and Gaara was pouting that Tetra was on stage. "There is no way she will ever live this down."  
  
Shino and Kankuro were flirting playfully on the other side of the booth, and Gaara was fighting not to gag. Kiana brightened when she heard the music Tetra had selected. "Oh, I love this song!"  
  
Temari flipped the camera on, focusing in on Tetra who was dancing a little on the stage. The 'bungs' began, and Tetra down-up thing as a sort-of dance. "Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, make him the cutest that I've ever seen! Give him two lips, like roses and clover! Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over! Sandman, I'm so alone! Don't have nobody to call my own. Please turn on your magic beam! Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream!"  
  
Gaara was trying hard not to smile as his drunken friend began dancing on stage to the 'bungs'. Kiana was swaying back and forth to the song, mumbling the lyrics incoherently and nursing her drink, which was an odd mix of vodka, rum, whiskey, and a few other types of alcohol. Gaara sat as far away from Kiana as he could.  
  
"Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream! Make him the cutest that I've ever seen. Give him the word that I'm not a rover, then tell him that his lonesome nights are over," Tetra sang on tune in her drunken state, winking at Gaara from the stage. Gaara's mouth twitched; it was getting harder not to smile. "Sandman, I'm so alone. Don't have nobody to call my own. . . Please turn on your magic beam! Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream!"  
  
The bungs began again, and Tetra began to do a little dance to them. "Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, make him the cutest that I've ever seen. Give him the word that I'm not a rover, then tell him that his lonesome nights are over. Sandman, I'm so alone! Don't have nobody to call my own. . . Please turn on your magic beam! Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream!"  
  
The bungs began again and Kiana danced her way to the dance floor, where a few people were drunkenly dancing to the awesome song. Tetra too was dancing and smiling widely.  
  
"Mr. Sandman," Tetra sang.  
  
Gaara finally smiled and yelled out, "What the hell do you want, woman?"  
  
"Bring us a dream! Give him a pair of eyes with a "come-hither" gleam," Tetra leered at Gaara, who had the decency to blush. Temari had gotten it all on tape, and was cackling evilly. "Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci, and lots of wavy hair like Liberace!"  
  
Kiana had made her way back to the table for her drink and saw Gaara blushing furiously and gazing dreamily at the stage.  
  
"Gaara, are you all right?" Kiana asked with a confused look on her face. Gaara NEVER blushed, and NEVER would even DARE to stare dreamily at someone or something. "You're not coming down with a fever, are you? I had no clue Mr. Sandman could blush!"  
  
But Gaara wasn't listening. Tetra was still singing, and he had gulped down all of Temari's intoxicating drink and was just a bit tipsy. For all that was evil and dark, Gaara could NOT hold his liquor well.  
  
"Mr. Sandman, someone to hold," Tetra sang happily, making dramatic sweeps with her arms, "Would be so peachy before we're too old, so please turn on your magic beam! Mr. Sandman, bring us, please, please, please! Mr. Sandman, bring us a dream!"  
  
The bungs began again and Tetra did a little dance and ending up in a split, something that no one knew she could achieve. She walked off stage pleasantly and walked over to the table Temari and Gaara were at, and Kiana was standing by it looking really perplexed and a little scared. "Hullo!"  
  
"TETRA YOU WERE WONDERFUL!" Kiana said loudly, hugging her friend. "I LOVE THAT SONG AND YOU MADE GAARA BLUSH AND THE CONCUSSION I GOT TODAY WAS WORTH COMING HERE, GETTING DRUNK, AND SEEING YOU SING ONE OF THE MOST AWESOME SONGS EVER!!"  
  
"Um," Tetra replied, rubbing the back of her neck and lifting one eyebrow. "Thanks?"  
  
"That was lovely, Tetra," Temari congratulated with a smile. "I got it all on tape, from Kiana dancing and bumping into lots of people to you leering at my brother, to Gaara blushing like crazy. Oh this will go down in history!"  
  
"What the hell have I done?!" moaned Tetra, flopping into the booth next to Gaara. She began to bang her head on the table, and Gaara had to restrain her with some sand to keep her from banging her head. "I didn't mean to do that!"  
  
"Oh, NOW you regain your common sense!" Kiana scoffed with an eye roll. "Tetra, you're stupid."  
  
"Am not!" Tetra defended herself.  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Am not, am not, am not!"  
  
"Are too, are too, are too!" Kiana growled, sticking her tongue out immaturely.  
  
"Both of you, stop it," Temari growled, scowling at the two. "You're giving me a headache."  
  
The two abruptly shut their mouths with an audible clack.  
  
A strange noise erupted from Gaara, and it startled Kiana, causing the black-haired girl to jump into a nearby person's arms. The nearby person happened to be a very sad Kakashi, for the person he held in his arms ruined his book. Kiana 'eeped' loudly as Kakashi glared death at her and began immaturely chasing the younger woman around.  
  
Tetra turned Gaara around and received the shock of that day: Gaara was laughing! Well, more like chuckling, and he HAD been giggling the night he got drunk, but this was different. It was kind of creepy chuckling, more like hoarse cackling down to a minimum, but Tetra wanted to see Gaara laughing more often. In the background, Kiana was screaming and being chased by Kakashi with a kunai in his hands.  
  
"Gaara!" Temari gasped, looking at her brother. "You- You're laughing!"  
  
"Gomen nasai!" Gaara gasped, trying to hold back his chuckles. "It was just so funny!"  
  
"Gaara, you will not be permitted to go outside the house after we go back. You are not buying paint or new rugs or anything!" Temari commanded, pointing a finger at her brother. Kiana ran by, her screams audible, Kakashi still chasing her. "I do NOT trust you when you're drunk."  
  
"Fine," Gaara sighed, a small amused smile still planted firmly on his face. "I won't. I promise."  
  
"Right then!" Temari smiled, clapping her hands together. She snagged Kiana's collar as she passed by again, and hefted her up, springing away. "I'll see you all later! I'd better make sure Kiana gets home safely, or Kiba will set Akamaru on me. It's happened before, you know."  
  
Tetra looked at the two, headed towards Kiana's apartment building. "She really doesn't like Kiba."  
  
"I don't blame her," a tipsy Gaara stated. "Kiba can get pret-ty(1) viscious when encouraged."  
  
"Ah!" Tetra nodded, finally understanding something. "That's why when the first time we pushed Kira into him, he was ready to tear our heads off!"  
  
"That's got to be it," agreed Gaara. "Anyway, I'll have to get going now. Nice show, Tetra."  
  
"Thanks," Tetra blushed, starting to back away. "See you, Gaara."  
  
And as the camera fades into the picture of a sliver moon, Kakashi weeps on a tree branch, mourning the loss of his precious book.  
  
-----  
  
A/N: Wow. That took a lot longer than I thought it would. But I dealt with my thumbs hurting like hell, and then Sam's pet squirrel, Rocky, mauled my finger and I can barely bend it. It's swollen like a blimp, and scratched up a lot, too. Also, since I'm bored and have nothing to do, I am having a fic request thing, so check my profile for more info. Anyway, thanks to all of those who reviewed. It means a lot to me that people like this! I never got so many reviews before. Wow.  
  
Kashisenshey: So would I. And pink rugs! HOT PINK rugs! I think if it were me, I would have passed out repeatedly.  
  
ayame0: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it. Obviously, here's the next chapter.  
  
TyrantFlame: Heh, thanks. Unfortunately, the Kankuro/Shino pairing will be continued, as will the Temari/Hinata. I'm weird. But I'm glad you liked the rest! Don't worry about Kankuro on Shino, since I feel your pain. I play Shino in an RP, and I thought it'd be funny to put them together.  
  
BlackVine: Good! Glad you liked it! Well, Sam and I decided that this song would be perfect, since Kankuro has a brother and sister that you would know and stuff. Also, it was playing on her iTunes at the time, so. . . Yeah! I'll put you into the story if you know the movie from where the bar's name comes from.  
  
gaara-girl: sugar is good. Anyway, here's the update, clearly. Hope you like it.  
  
InvaderHera: Do not worry, I put you in! I didn't like my other story, so I deleted it. Also, for some reason, it was called 'Before My Hair' instead of 'Before My Eyes'. How strange. Thanks for reviewing.  
  
Notes: Important! If you can guess what movie the bar's name is from, you get the ultimate prize of having your character make an appearance! Leave your guess in your review, and if it's right, I'll email you, and you should email me back with your character's appearance, and a song that you'd like them to sing if you want them to sing. Email me, anyone, if you have a fic request! I'll do straight pairings, no matter how much they scare me. Hope you like this chapter!  
  
>--K0ubh--<


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